dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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