Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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