I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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