If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
