Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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