Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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