Only a mothe r could love this liver
operation harelip BJ is a go
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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