Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I need to sanitize my soul.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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