Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize