do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
