I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
