I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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