Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
