I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize