he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
