help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
