just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You may now shotgun with the bride
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
