Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
