if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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