I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize