i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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