She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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