worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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