so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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