that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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