what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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