My room smells like vodka and shame
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
