So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
