the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
