i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
