eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
