If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
