I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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