I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize