he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Randomize
