Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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