What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
