Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
