Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
