I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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