filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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