Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
