nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
