How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
