remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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