Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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