Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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