I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
