Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
