I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
