Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
