just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
She needs sedatives and a leash
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Randomize