is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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