You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize